Audible offers a Two Books Free with a new membership! Why not listen to Fazgood, then cancel the membership! Bezos has enough money, amiright? Meanwhile, you’ll enjoy this innovative, lively fantasy novel read by an experienced comedic performer! And leave a review telling of your refreshing experience!
Now comes NobleFusion Press’ upload to Audible.
Uploading is a new skillset for all involved. What file type? A separate file for each chapter!? The cover needs to be reformatted into a square?! It’s 2024! Can’t I just think it into people’s devices?
The book is 15 hours and 20 minutes long. I hit “rec” almost 800 times. Editing is ongoing. But the reading stretched my comedy muscles and even my self-critical self has to admit: I did a good job!
It sounds great! It sounds FUN!
Many of my dayjob coworkers are interested in getting Advanced Listener Copies, which apparently Audible allows for that. Best of all, we are not limited to Audible in the future. Because I used my own recording and editing softwares, I can upload to any site.
If you’d like a copy and use other sites, let me know!
The last, most important thing! The text version of “Fazgood” had typos. Again, publisher and I are still learning. BUT! I gave a thorough review while recording narration, and soon will have the new edition ready.
Getting ready for the holidays with the Third Most-Efficient Palpable Thief as ranked by The College of Incorrigibles.
You could “Horror” with “The Flesh Sutra”, longlisted for Best Novel at the Stokers. Gothic Body Horror set in the early 1900s.
Or its stand-alone sequel “Saints of Flesh”, Weird Body Horror set in today’s Southern California.
Or you could “Zany Fantasy” with “Fazgood and the Obstreperous Moosecrab Caper” with its unique races and magics, and an Epic Thief so epic, that his mid-life crisis threatens civilization.
This kind man with the winning smile enjoys the book, so why don’t you have a look? Fazgood is in paperback and on Kindle Unlimited. Click on the cover below now and take a peek.
Wow, I’ve been gone for a while.
Holidays will holiday, and frankly, the lengthening night this time of year gets me down. Got my new car. It’s lovely, but someone drove through a stop sign and put it in the shop.
Anyhoo, I am resolving to be more social this year. Sorry I’m disjointed, but I’m trying to get back into the swing of things.
This is a useful little list of what director Billy Wilder looked for in his scripts. I think where he says “voiceover” might well work for any description, really.
Follow the escapades of The Mad Earl Fazgood in this rollicking tale based on the should-be-true adventures of a delightfully bizarre nobleman run rampant.
All seems straight-forward enough when Fazgood and his compatriots sail in search of his much beloved but ever-elusive moosecrab stew, despite everyone, everywhere wanting him dead for no good reason at all. Sailing from port to port doesn’t seem to evade his executioners so Fazgood goes to the capital of the Kingdom, despite being an exile, hoping for at least one bowl of moosecrab stew before he must surely face his doom.
Instead of moosecrab, however, Fazgood and his outrageous companions find corruption, deception, and an ancient talisman that could easily dissolve the very Kingdom he hates to love.
Fazgood finds himself conniving the highest ranks of society into helping him solve the problem of his imminent demise or, for that matter, the Kingdom’s. And he does what any good hero would do: he crafts a plan so cunning, so secret, even he cannot fathom it.
Join the Mad Earl and his compatriots as they traverse a Kingdom filled with peaceful, god-ruled citizenry ranging from carnivorous plants to sorcerous gas bubbles.
Will he save the Kingdom that set him on his felonious life or will he let the Kingdom be digested?
And will he ever get his god-poxied moosecrab?
Do you like “Our Flag Means Death”? The absurdity of Terry Gilliam?
About 45 years in the making! All yours for Halloween!
An undead sorceress in San Francisco needs her daemon lover. But some fool stole her only way to find him. To find him, she possesses a cancer patient. What they find is a new hell within….
Amazon.com: Saints of Flesh: The Flesh Sutra Sequel eBook : Burke, Tim: Kindle Store
I’m still trying to establish a work rhythm, and I’m sorry this update is late. But sales of “The Flesh Sutra” had ranked it in the 800’s in Amazon’s Horror Fiction sales. It’s back down again, but we’re establishing a small business here, and business has ebbs and flows. What else is going on?
A wonderful artist and friend Rachael Mayo is working on a yantra appropriate for Alecsi and Olivia’s mysticism. She loves making dragons, but I chose her because her eye for color is so startling and innovative. Look at this color work!
What else? I’m editing two videos; one for the reading salon Galactic Philadelphia (I’ve edited all their videos), the other is the aforementioned interview with Sally Weiner Grotta.
I use Final Cut Pro on a Macbook Pro, but lately Final Cut is proving to be a lot more than I need. I’m test driving ClipChamp off of Windows 11, and I’ll let you know how that works out.
My new job is doing very well. I work at a supermarket for more than I was making after nine years at a big box tech store. The scheduling is more flexible so the conventions I need to do will not interfere. Stocking shelves and lifting grocery bags make me buff. My coworkers are my age or younger, and their good nature and ambitions remind me the future is in good hands.
Still figuring out how to make best use of TikTok and Twitter. I’ve bought books based on posts. The trick is to come up with promotions that are both effective and comfortable.
Would you mutilate mankind for love? That is the question of “The Flesh Sutra.” In Fin de siècle Boston, the mystic healer Alecsi Keresh lays in the passionate embrace of his lover Mrs. Olivia Spalding, when he is shot dead. Enraged, he forces his way back to life through ghastly means. He becomes an abomination. All for love. Olivia is terrified of death. Alecsandri dreads abandonment. Seeing one another as soul mates, they resolve to atone for their sins by helping humanity. But their jealousies mar their works, often with hideous results. And a spirit stalks them. One that grows more powerful at every turn. Will the lovers succeed and transform mankind? Or will their weaknesses twist humanity into abominations? Therein lies the answer to “The Flesh Sutra.”
Here is a timeline for what to do from an experienced author. My publisher is working from similar advice.
Book Launch Survival Guide — Aiden Thomas (aiden-thomas.com)
Just one of many pieces of advice:
Having a pinned tweet is absolutely critical for this platform! It sticks to the top of your pages, so whenever someone clicks over to your profile, it’s the first thing they see.
Your pinned tweet should include:
* Title of your book
* Release date
* Something about the book to get readers/ attention, like an elevator pitch (more on this later!)
* Preorder campaign link
* Buy and/or Goodreads link
* Header image promoting your book (commissioning an artist is always great, but you can also create one yourself, more on this later!)