This Is How Odd A Writing Life Can Be

15 06 2017

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I’ve been listening to “Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast” so this post is coming out of me in Gilbert Gottfried’s voice.

My new novel is blocked up. I’ve done 80K words on a 50K word novel and at the very least I have another 100K words still to write. I have the bones of a plot but no working POV and the realization that the past nine months have not been fun.

Meanwhile, a friend who has a major publisher connected me with his agent. Great, but all agents are busy and finding one is a part-time job in itself. My publisher sent the agent a copy of “The Flesh Sutra” (WHY HAVEN’T YOU BOUGHT THIS BOOK? NANCY HOLDER SAYS IT’S GOOD AND IT COSTS ONLY 99 CENTS).

No response from the agent, okay. Agents are busy and I’ve got a novel making me question my life.

Response today. Agent wants to know if I have anything in the works.

Yes, my current work is a performance art piece titled “Existential Anguish”.

If you keep submitting for 28 years, you can be like me, a Myers-Briggs INTJ overthinking his existence in a 12X12 bedroom and running low on self-delusion just in time for a big break.

Did I mention that I’m away from my job for three weeks? THREE WEEKS! My writer friends who have lives and families and communities would kill for three weeks off so they can write what would be the next best-selling, multi-award winning novel of the ages. I will probably be watching Netflix and plucking hair off my ears.

The last thing I wanted to do was post about “wah wah the writers life sucks” like all the other writers in Writerdom. I hate being a cliche. I want to offer something useful.

Feh. We’ll see what happens.

 





Colonel Sanders and the Demonic Lover

1 06 2017

I love the conjunction of genres and the taming of monsters that occurs in paranormal romance, and much of OGOM’s research centres on this. The demon lovers of paranormal romance range from vampires (of course), through faeries, angels, and werewolves; the odder candidates include mermen, gargoyles, and even ghosts and zombies. But the monstrous lover…

via Colonel Sanders and the Demonic Lover — Open Graves, Open Minds





25 Years Of Writing Says: Don’t Write Short Stories

23 05 2017

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As noted before, I’ve been sending stories out since 1989. Am I a famous author? I am not. But I have been professionally published, and for the indulgence of other rewarding interests, I may have been farther along in my writing career.

What I have learned about writing and its profession:

If you are going to write, write novellas or novels. I have always had very good ideas. My interest in getting into short story markets made me edit these ideas down to the market optimum 4000 words. Editors would respond “Needs more”. I would move on to the next idea which I would cut down, etc. I thought ideas were putty that could be massaged into any length. An idea is a block of marble. Cut one wrong and the whole statue is ruined.

If you are going to write short stories, get paid for them. Thankfully, I always had this rule. Getting upvotes in your writing community feels good. Sooner or later you will want more. Cut out the middleman and go straight to market.

If you aren’t getting paid for your story, self-publish. This wasn’t available to me earlier of course, but it is something I will pursue.

Network. Life is all about “who you know.” It’s uncomfortable. The good news is everyone’s uncomfortable too.

Save originality for later. I went straight for “sensational”, “innovative”, and “original”. What I didn’t learn was “structure”, “character development”, and “simplicity”. One idea per plot. Write your slash. File off those serial numbers. Study your authors and write pastiches. That said…

Invent your own magic system. Play in someone else’s sandbox, they get the right to pick nits.

Be nice. Any professional community is like High School. One tweet can set back years of work. Small communities thrive on making outcasts. Be nice.

I used to think “write what makes your mother uncomfortable” and the audience will find you. Instead, your priority is “write what you love and look for your audience.”

Ignore other writers. You can become distracted, frustrated, and despair. If you can’t ignore another writer’s work, that’s one of the few writer you should study.

Classes, conventions, retreats, and Clarion-Odyssey-Taos Toolbox-that thing Tom Monteleone does…do them. I have wasted tens of thousands of dollars sitting in coffee shops. The writers who have gone to bigger things sacrificed to do these activities to learn and network. That said…

The Most Important Advice:

Accept that any of your ideas may suck. No amount of rewriting or networking will help an idea that sucks. Move on to the next idea. I wasted about four years rewriting a bunch of half-baked, “sensational” ideas. They sucked. I should have moved on. Now if a story doesn’t get published in the first few submissions, I trunk it and move on.





A Magazine For Fan Fiction

11 05 2017

FAN/FIC is an online magazine for fanfiction readers and writers: essays about fan culture, practical advice on how to improve your craft, interviews with writers, and more.

via FAN/FIC Magazine — Discover





Where Writers Write

18 04 2017

Writing can be intimidating, especially when you are just starting out. Experienced writers will have their own processes formulated through rigorous trial and error. If you are new to the world of writing, some input from more experienced writers can be invaluable. I’ve been writing for years now and thought it would be cool to share […]

via Writing Tips: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION — Evil Geek Cult





Writers: Find These Shows And Mine Them For Ideas

17 04 2017

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This is a great article! I am going to amazon.uk and buying two of these series!





“Write Your Novel In a Month”! hahahahahahha….

13 04 2017

I am a sucker for titles like this, because I want to increase word rate, brain speed, income, and become a Singularity of Slack.

However.

Once again, I fell for a title — this time a podcast — making the very claim in this post title.

Once again, the writer said something like: “I was stuck in my writing and questioning the value of my very Krebs Cycle. Then I joined up with the ______________ Method. I got it my novel done in fifteen days!”

Then: “I-spent-the-next-several-months-rewriting-because-it-was-a-first-draft.”

Yeha-NO.

Hell, I’ll even mention the method, because it’s getting such promotion

CHRIS FOX “Write 10,000 Words An Hour!” Method!

I’ve heard three people on podcasts including Fox describing the method. Just from the description there are obvious flaws in the method. Namely:

  1. Dictation into Dragon software or into a recorder is not “writing”. You still have to spend time deciphering your yammering into a transcript.
  2. If your 10K words are crap, it’s good you can write another 10K words of revision tomorrow — oh wait, that needs proofreading and rearranging and imposition of structure. Which takes time.
  3. Kevin Anderson can do the dictation into novel stuff because he has years of practice, a secretarial staff, and an editor employed exclusively with him.
  4. Lastly, I’ll go here: take a moment and read a bit of Chris Fox’s fiction on Amazon’s Sneak Peek. His finished novels read like treatments of other people’s novels. How does he support himself? Living off savings from his Silicon Valley job and you already figured it out by selling books promising 10K Word Output yadda.

Do not fall for this “Novel In A Month” crap. I’m a lazy, unreasonable ass and I haven’t found anything that works and creates anything signing your name to.

Keep writing, friends.








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