I Have A Goal & It’s Boss & Challenging!

26 09 2014

It is said among the writers that one could make a living if one has ten novels in print.
I’ve done research and found writers who have made that work.
Why them and not me?
I will write six novels in the next three years. Each novel will be from 50K – 80K words. So, a half million words in the next three years.
I am outlining three novels right now. I’ll let you know how they are going.

Novel 1: Haunted House Big Box Store
The alienation found in haunted house stories like “The Haunting of Hill House” can also be generated through anomie, or being lost in a crowd. I already have jokes in here. I will be using experiences gained through my part-time job at the Big Box store.

Novel 2: Real Politik Black Satire Fantasy Fiction
Set in the world of “The Mad Earl’s Homecoming”. The main character is an anti-hero who is part Elric and part Blackadder.

Novel 3: “Sour Crude Dead”
A new take on post-apocalypse zombies. The first chapter is done and I hope to sell it as a short story.





Horror Comedy Movie Reviews

24 09 2014

Netflix is a very good lay, in that it will show me only enough to keep me interested while scramming when I lose my endurance. I will not watch a movie that I find ridiculous in its first ten minutes. Life is too short and the internet is too, too tempting, even the parts without porn. Witness:

“Willow Creek”
Bob Goldwaith is an underrated yet frustrating director. He seems intent on taking the most extreme personal experiences and showing that dog-f**king happens to folks just like you and me. “World’s Greatest Dad” took a teen’s death by auto-erotic strangulation and turned it into another chance for Robin Williams to show his dick. “God Bless America” took spree-killing to its most rewarding targets, but failed to deliver the truly transgressive conclusion “They Deserved It.”
“Willow Creek” follows a troubled young couple on a quest to find Bigfoot in the wild. The premise is worn, and the movie’s found-footage format is wearing thin, but Goldwaith finds some golden moments in this production. The young couple is played by actors who share real chemistry and convey realistic emotion. The script allows the characters to develop and dares the viewer to be bored, even when waiting for those noises outside the tent. The conclusion is predictable, but still chilling.

 

“Jug Face” (not a comedy)
A stylized rural community sacrifices people to a monster in a hole. Too stylized for me to feel suspense for the characters. Tried for “American Gothic” (the TV series) and fell short in a way I haven’t figured out.

 

“Filth”
Turns “The Bad Lieutenant” into a he’s-really-an-okay-bloke comedy. No.

 

“Rigor Mortis”
Stylized the scary right out of a haunted tenement.

 

“All Cheerleaders Die”
Lucky McKee is another director who seems on the cusp of making a great movie, but needs some one (ME!) to give his scripts a last going-over. “May” took an obsessed teen seamstress in a predictable direction, gave the story a twist, and mistook the movie’s central event for an ending. “The Woman” took two tropes and ran them together in a surprising manner, then went overboard instead of using restraint.
(Please watch these two movies anyway. McKee’s strength is that he is a great Actor’s Director. Angela Bettis and Pollyanna MacIntosh by themselves are intense leads.) But “ACD” has too many characters, no clear magic concept, and lacks the courage of saying “yes, the magic that reanimated five four people is EVIL and not Wiccan”. The only PoC is the lead bad guy, who is also the most believable performer. This movie makes you appreciate Joss Whedon more, in that he knows that horror and comedy *alternate* scenes, and that jokes which digress from a scene ruin suspense, while jokes within the scene can heighten suspense.





Want A Copy Of “The Flesh Sutra”?

20 09 2014

Just message me or email me at timissocial at gmail dot com.
I will send you an epub forthwith.
If I can get five more reviews on Amazon, my publisher can advertise on BookBub.
You get a book that’s been acclaimed by horror editors just for your sincere reaction noted in Amazon.
You need something to read this week. Try the book today!





“First of all, I think all my movies are funny.” – David Cronenberg

16 09 2014

This from the director of “The Fly” and “Videodrome” and “A History of Violence.”

A thousand times yes!

No matter what the content of the amount of goo, I see jokes in everything I write.





My First Advice For Writers

14 09 2014

A good story is nothing if it does not surprise and innovate.
Familiar characters doing familiar activities leading to a comfortable resolution?
Why do that?
Life is uncertain. A writer’s life is more so.
Not to be rude, but what qualities does “story quality” have?
“Twilight” had a plot that a lot of people found compelling.
We could all name a story whose characters were likable, yet with an ending that fell flat.
For me, “innovation” means that past a good character, past a strong plot, there ought to be surprise. A new take on the genre, or on a magic system, or an extrapolation on a science that hadn’t been considered before.
There’s only so much that can be done within a culture or language, yes. But each of us as writers has a universe of unique experiences and interpretations which we can bring to bear on a work of art.

 





Ten Books That Stayed With Me, or A Collection of Weird, Childlike White People

5 09 2014

1. “Monty Python’s Papperbok” by Monty Python (read with my brothers)
2. “The Case of Charles Dexter Ward” by H.P. Lovecraft
3. “Without Feathers” by Woody Allen (his obsessions seem oh so obvious in hindsight)
4. “The Mad Scientists’ Club” by Bertrand R. Brinley (small-town boys making UFOs and building submarines!)
5. “Shogun” by James Clavell (read during Summer of my freshman year in high school)
6. “The Hobbit” by JRRT
7. “The Silver Crown” by Robert C. O’Brien (read to us in 7th grade. Dark and paranoid and mysterious stuff by the “Rats on NIMH” writer)
8. “High School Yearbook” by National Lampoon (Christmas of sophomore year!)
9. “I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream” by Harlan Ellison
10. “Cat’s Cradle” by Kurt Vonnegut (way, way too much Vonnegut, and yes there is such a thing as “too much Vonnegut”)








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