timwburke

Mysterious Man: Welcome to my secret STRONGhold, Batman!
Robin: Holy Tour de France! It’s Lance Armstrong!
Lance: I hope my special LiveSTRONG bracelets aren’t making you too uncomfortable. Yet.
Batman: You’ll never get away with this, Armstrong.
Lance: Those are STRONG words coming from a man up to his neck in energy drink, Batman!
Batman: What is it you want?
Lance: I want all my trophies back! All my medals! All the money I earned placed back in my STRONGbox.
Robin: But you cheated!
Lance: I did not know blood-doping was cheating.
(CU: Batman rolling his eyes.)
Lance: Really, I didn’t.
(CU: Robin snorts with derision.)
Lance: Enough!
(Pulls away curtain to reveal the missing bicyclists bound with Livestrong bracelets. They are suspended over the seats of bicycles.)
Lance: (to henchmen) Live! Strong! Turn on the camera! Hello, people of Gotham! Look upon the greatest bicyclists in the world!
I have covered the bicycle seats of the Tour De Gotham with radioactive STRONGtium 90! Gotham City shall give back what they took away or the most famous bicyclists in the world will have testicular cancer! You have ten minutes!