Update! Cover Artists! Mine Is Really Good!

18 03 2023

This artist calls themselves “HumbleNations” and their business is “Go On Write”, which URLs as “goonwrite” or as I see it “goon write”, which I like more. It’s worth clicking on a book and seeing his examples, if just for a look at the mock-up titles…

Their blog is also Brithumorlicious.

What of my covers? There will be a release soon….





Look At Stories Which Take Emotional Risk with A.C. Wise

23 03 2023

Favorite Stories of 2022 from A.C. Wise.

Turns out I am socially acquainted with A.C. Wise through a mutual friend. She and her husband are very cool people, which pains me to say because I am a little jealous of her. Ms. Wise’s writing accesses universal, yet still intimate themes. I’ve read some of these recommended stories, and while I have qualms with some, they all undeniably bear real emotional weight. I’ll be reading more of them.





How To Prepare For Book Launches Pt.1

21 03 2023

First, we write bios…

100 word horror bio:

Tim W. Burke grew up near two US Federal penitentiaries. After attending George S. Patton Junior High, he attended high school in the town that inspired the movie “Halloween”. Tim began writing horror in 1989 while reading submissions to Weird Tales. He produced video, performed comedy, stocked shelves, and co-owned a comic book store. His horror fiction has appeared in Space and Time, Weird Tales, LORE, Psudopod.org, several anthologies, and the preliminary ballot of the Stoker Awards. Now Tim braces himself for what’s next in the state of Delaware, USA. 

150 word horror bio:

Tim W. Burke’s novel “The Flesh Sutra” earned a place on the preliminary ballot of the Stoker Awards. He was born in East Saint Louis before the riots. Growing up throughout the US, he lived within sight of two Federal penitentiaries. He attended General George S. Patton Junior High School, then high school in the town that inspired the movie “Halloween”. Tim began writing horror in 1989 while reading submissions to Weird Tales under editor George Scithers. Tim produced commercial and government video, performed comedy, stocked shelves, and co-owned a comic book store.  He lives with chronic anxiety and depression, using it as fuel for dark humor and weird horror. His fiction has appeared in Space and Time, Weird Tales, LORE, Psudopod.org, and several anthologies. An enthusiast in all things supernatural and cryptid, he saw the ghost of his mother’s cat. Now Tim awaits the next weirdness by living in the state of Delaware, USA. 

100 word humor bio:

Tim W. Burke was raised by a nomadic family of social workers. He attended General George Patton Junior High and the high school that inspired the movie “Halloween”. He graduated Temple University with a BA in Media. With DQD Comedy Theatre in Philadelphia, he appeared on ABC’s Funniest Home Videos. He produced and performed in the stage show and movie “The Kibbles and Bits of ‘Hellorama’”, earning raves from local critics and FilmThreat Magazine. His humor has appeared in Space and Time magazine and several Philadelphia newspapers. He has rejected nomadism for slash-and-burn agriculture in the state of Delaware USA. Look for him at timwburke.com. 

170 word humor bio:

Tim W. Burke was born in the wagon of a traveling show; his mama used to dance for the money they’d throw. Unlike the rest of Cher’s “Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves”, Tim attended Temple University and got a BA in Media. Before that, though, he attended General George Patton Junior High, then high school in the town that inspired the movie “Halloween”. As a Boy Scout, he only earned a Reading merit badge, but did go on to play a lot of Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. With DQD Comedy Theatre in Philadelphia, he appeared on ABC’s Funniest Home Videos in “I Feel Like ‘Iguana Tonight.’” He produced and performed in the stage show and movie “The Kibbles and Bits of ‘Hellorama’”, earning excellent reviews from local critics and FilmThreat Magazine. His humor has appeared in Space and Time magazine and several Philadelphia newspapers. Tim has produced commercial and government video, stocked shelves, and co-owned a comic book store. Now he has settled in Delaware, trying to make new quips from the 1965 hit “I Got You Babe”. 





Newsletter? Yes, You Can Get Newsletter!

12 02 2023

My publisher wants me to assemble material to give newsletter subscribers, and I’m having a blast.

If you subscribe to my newsletter, you can look forward to a cut scene from “Fazgood” and “Leadership Advice From The Earl of Weiquand”. Or how about “Fazgood” details translated for AD&D 5e:

Educated Wind

Minor Air Elemental

Armor Class 14 (natural armor)
Hit Points 30
Speed fly 120 ft.
Damage Resistance +1 or better weapons to strike
Damage Immunities poison
Condition Immunities exhaustion, grappled, paralyzed, poisoned, restrained, prone, unconscious
Senses darkvision 90 ft., passive Perception 16
Languages Aerial, Common
Challenge 2 (700 XP)

An Educated Wind looks like swirling columns of cloud with a winsome happy face. Educated Winds are used as messengers by all countries, and as mounts by the Empire of Birqmuir’s Elite Holy Geeks.

You can see drafts of yantra from the “Flesh” books:

Or see those characters and qualities in AD&D 5e:

Astral Projection

1st Level Abjuration

Casting Time: 1 hour

Range: Touch

Components. V, S

Duration: One hour per level unless dispelled or killed.

The caster and one person per five caster levels transcends to the Astral Plane. They are naked and bear no equipment. They replicate their game statistics. Any damage incurred while Astral will reflect in their physical body. Anyone physically encountered while Astral may be brought to the plane if desired; again, one person per five levels of caster. Those Astral may affect their size and perceptions down to the subatomic level, or up to fill the sky. They gain True Sight, including alignment and health.

Plus previously published stories, updates, drawings, and the stuff one gets in a newsletter.

Do you have any suggestions about what to put in my newsletter?





Three New Movies! Would I Have Changed Them?

7 02 2023

Infinity Pool examines of the impact that wealth has on the psyche, and it doesn’t bring any new revelations. The acting is great. Direction is competent. There are two montage segments that needed shortening. Somehow it makes sex with Mia Goth boring. The ending leaves you bleak and gutted.

Writer/director Branden Cronenberg made Antiviral, which had a great premise with a confusing crime plot, and Possessor which is frigging great all the way around. Both deal with the impact technology has on identity and social responsibility. It seems Cronenberg breaks new ground here, but doesn’t provide a new path.

Infinity Pool takes wealthy tourists in a fictitious Balkan nation, allows them to bribe their way out of murders while specially created clones take their punishment. Obviously, it plays more as parable than plausible. Unlike his other movies, Infinity Pool adds nothing to their examinations. What would I change?

“Infinity Pool” would make a neat premise for the next Marvel Deadpool movie. Wade gets a blood transfusion from Lobo. Whenever Wade fights, he bleeds new Deadpools, all of them hostile wiseasses. He would enlist incredibly dangerous, absurd characters to try to wrangle the clones. Eventually, he gets help from someone telepathic to control them, then does some genetic handwavium to reset his blood, and no one learns anything. Damn thing writes itself.

Seriously…. What would I have done? First: the movie leaves you angry at economic disparity and despairing over human corruption. It keeps the story tight and close, over a month’s time following the downfall of a single protagonist. Cool. It really hits its marks there. I’d leave its intentions alone.

The problem is that “clones” are a well-worn idea. Could the author pay to create a hitman and kill the other tourists? He lacks the skills. Could the protagonist to dialogue with himself and reason his way out of his despair? He could discover, no, he could not. This could comment on “self-help” movements, but I believe that Michael Keaton movie did that.

As it stands, I lack the imagination to deepen Cronenberg’s treatment of his premise. A mini-series might allow that, but then it may remind one of the Westworld series.

SKINAMARINK

Skinamarink is bleak, too. Two children awake in the middle of the night to find their parents missing and the doors, windows, and toilet gone. It takes its premise from nightmares and should be viewed not as a movie with a plot arc, but a rendering of a child’s subconscious. When you were a toddler, remember how weird your house was in the middle of the night? How little control you had over anything? How you could just experience the moment, no matter how bewildering the moment?

So an hour and a half of that. The space of the ranch home is almost liminal and the very grain of the darkness is its own character, changing shape and pattern.

In its own way, Skinamarink makes its own statement of love versus existence. The sister’s mutilation is a jump scare. The mom vanishing before our eyes is a slow, gut-dropping shock. But when asked to join them, the boy says “no”. Because leaving known existence will probably be worse.

Knock On The Cabin

This movie examines love versus existence directly. A family must murder one of its members or the world ends. Shaymalan sets his intrinsic Speilberginess to fight his intrinsic Hitchcockiness. If you’ve watched his movies, you already know which wins.

The directing starts out labored (the extreme close ups scream “Look at the tension I’ma buildin'”), but recedes well enough.

Does anyone ask “Hey visionaries? After I’m dead, what happens next?” No, no one does.

What we have here is a dearth of style. The Hollywood releases are elevator pitches, not just plot driven but plot-exclusive. They have no space for mood. I would like to see Skinamarink handle disparity or identity, or more deeply, the value of love over existence.





Preparing for My Improved Writing Career

7 02 2023

It’s a damn truism that to be a successful author, an indulgent spouse can help. They pay the bills. Their job provides health care.

cheerful mature couple dancing and laughing against beige background
Photo by Alex Green on Pexels.com

Presented to illustrate “indulgent spouse”. Not me. Not my spouse.

Lacking a supporter, I stumbled into another truism: you can be your own indulgent spouse if you prepare. I had no idea I was preparing all these years, but it turns out I can now access my mutual funds and 401K and only pay income tax on withdraws. So I have money.

I just got a new job at Redacted Retail. This new place is fantastic. The employees are happy. I’m making more here than I did after nine years at my last job. My shift is evening, which leaves my productive afternoons free. Most of all, I have control over my hours: I can work as few as 24 hours per week and still get health benefits. Which is nice, but I may not need them because I qualify for Medicare.

Getting old was not my idea, but it does seem to have some benefits.

So I’ve set up some conventions! To visit! Where?

Horror on Main – May 26 to 28 Delta Marriott • 245 Shawan Road • Hunt Valley, Maryland 21031

StokerCon – June 15 to 18 Sheraton Pittsburgh Hotel – Station Square 300 West Station Square Drive Pittsburgh, PA

World Fantasy Convention – October 26 to 29. Sheraton Crown Center – 2345 McGee Street, Kansas City MO

I’m lining up a reading or group talk for Horror on Main, “Saints of Flesh” is slated to launch at StokerCon, and the Fazgood novel will launch at World Fantasy. Maybe I can get a reading at StokerCon? I’m new at this and have to see how to line that up.

What else am I doing? I need to clean up my Goodreads and Amazon pages. I’m working with my publisher on my upcoming monthly newsletter which will include nifty giveaways. Want Fazgood, Olivia, or other character stats to use in AD&D 5e? Am doing! How about out-of-print published stories brushed up and improved? Will soon be doing!

Meanwhile, I am annoyed with the Safari browser because I could not access my website dashboard for a week. Google Chrome is a pain on this OS. I’m editing the videos for Galactic Philadelphia and barely have enough hard drive for everything. So a new laptop may be in the offing.

This is quite unnerving, but I am taking all of these changes a day at a time. I’m glad you’re interested enough to come along. Together we will learn some new things.





Lovecraft’s Tricks For Writing The Impossible: You Only Know One Of Them

24 01 2023

You know which one: “OMG it’s impossible!” Well, he had other tricks and a couple caught me off-guard. This is a useful YouTube channel, so maybe subscribe.





Write Faster? What The Experts Say….

19 01 2023

Here is a great article from LitReactor where an author tries four methods of increasing word count. Thankfully, she doesn’t seem to fall for my Pettest of Writing Peeves: she includes time spent outlining to the word/minute total.

https://litreactor.com/columns/what-i-learned-from-7-books-on-writing-faster

That said, she finds advice overlap between all these books. She seems to believe that instead of waiting for inspiration to write, one should write until inspiration strikes. That perspective gives me vertigo, but I’m going to try that in a moment.





Publishing Update!

12 01 2023

Mentioned before that my publisher Noble Fusion Press will be releasing three of my novels this year. Two will launch at big deal conventions:

“Saints of Flesh” will launch at StokerCon in Pittsburgh, June 15 – 18.

“Fazgood and the Obstreperous Moosecrab Caper” launches at The World Fantasy Convention in Kansas City, October 26 – 29.

Cover reveals for both are forthcoming.

“The Flesh Sutra” releases soon in a third edition with some tweaking. You will be kept up to date on that as well.

My publisher will start a newsletter for me, probably by this summer. The newsletter will have lots of supplemental material: drawings; playable AD&D races, classes, and characters; stories published in the past and more!

This is an exciting year already! I’m glad you are here so I can share it with you.





What Tropes Are Selling In Spec Fic? What Is Tough To Sell?

10 01 2023

I have to be circumspect in this post, because I present information from a private online writers group. A writer in this group wondered what tropes sold well in today’s market. This writer is also a statistician. The writer polled dozens of published writers within this group. He asked which tropes sold easily to editors in this market. He ranked the responses. Here are the five highest selling and the six toughest selling tropes in spec-fic.

Toughest To Sell Ranked To Most Difficult:

6) Prominent Violence.

5) Prominent Sexual Content

4) Body Horror

3) Vampires

2) Werewolves

1) Furry

Now I was alarmed to see Body Horror on the list at all. But fourth from least popular isn’t so bad…right? Violence and Sex have their markets of course, just not as large a market as others. Some twenty years ago Vampires and Werewolves took up entire shelves in bookstores. Now, expectedly, editors are looking for new twists due to reader fatigue. As for Furry, author Dr. Lawrence M. Schoen is writing about his universe of anthropomorphic spacefarers. He tells me that while he did not write to the Furry audience, he finds them a small but enthusiastic fanbase.

Most Popular Ranked To…Most Popular

5) Time Travel

4) Robots With Feelings

3) Fairytales, Folklore, and Mythology

2) Prominent Humor

1) Ghost Stories

Well, this tracks, doesn’t it! How many anthologies have we seen featuring all of these tropes? How many novels have you seen with robots grappling with their burgeoning humanity? Notice that truly popular novel series seem to have all of these elements: Discworld and Hitchhikers Guide being two. What is it about these subjects that their appeal is so long-lasting?

While I may wish for the powers of a vampire or werewolf, they have pronounced drawbacks. And my upbringing was a bit prudish and meek, so violence and sex sets off my discomfort. Furry stories are fun but I’ve noticed I write about humans all the time and may have an unconscious bias against Furdom. Body Horror expresses my anxieties about mortality very well, so there lies my aesthetic.

The Most Popular tropes seem easily for people to take personally. Want to change something in your past? Are you a history buff? Travel in time! Feel awkward? So would a robot. Wanna just get away to simpler, artful places? Fairytales etc! I like ghost stories for the afterlife and the idea of getting away with just loafing about.

So yes, I am wondering about a time-traveling AI dealing with his banshee sidekick. Not really, but this information is intriguing.

Meanwhile, enjoy this hipster fish!








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