“MAD EARL FAZ” CHAPTER 19 (THE CONNIVANCE BEGINS)

4 06 2014

That night as the Malabar Flats Ferry crossed the Quand, three velveteened courtesans with retinues all gaped in surprise. The moonlight showed some few plug-hatted Scout aspirants who were frozen and staring. The moonlight showed throngs of blue-jacketed merchants clutching treasured permits for an evening’s loache, all of whom fidgeted as if under their mother’s gaze.

In the middle of the foredeck, Respiration Greatsergeant stood, her braids swept back from her face, the sheen cast upon her dark, flawless skin. Her black knitted shawl pulled back from the simple black smock, pulled back to show its blue-green sigil “Greatsergeant”, which was oyster-shell-embroidered in the thick-footed zhe-fherem lettering style allowed only to authority.

Her presence pressed all talk on the boat to murmurs.

Two steps behind Respiration, respectfully, stood Obdurate, who managed to stay at attention well in the slightly rocking boat. Beside the officer stood Calzjha, haggard in the blue suit of the Foofaloof, the Brumpf basket under her right arm.

Within that basket, frantic Warren received this: [Squire, it seems I have talked my way out of it.]

The weasel shrieked and banged open the lid.

[Calzjha, our liege lives! He says he has talked his way out!]

Calzjha whispered to the soldier and the goodwife, “The Earl is well. He has communicated so.”

Both sighed, but more so Obdurate, for he could not find in the Greatsergeant Keep a portable weapon more menacing than an old, oiled dagger tucked in his tunic. He had been in a panic that they would run into a jezr-ji team, but was relaxed a little on the ferry.

“Where is he?” asked Respiration.

Warren conveyed to Calzjha, [At the Wetward Gate.]

They looked to the dock and saw at the dock, at the head of the crowd between two figures in plughats, stood a smaller man. The lanterns of the ferry brought white light upon the dock. The Earl’s suit was battered from the day’s exertions. He grasped the scuffed toolbag and a jug. He favored his right leg from his earlier sprain. A welt dulled his left cheek. But gone from his eyes was the vaguedespair of that afternoon. Unseen by the deputies beside him, his dark eyes glittered with a barely-suppressed enervation.

[My liege!] Warren queried, [Are you well?]

[Do you mean these two? They are to keep me under lock somewhere.]

[They seem formidable. Are you certain you are well?]

[I haven’t felt better in months.]

The grimace was almost palpable. [You ate that poor crab’s body.]

[I did not, Warren. A taste was all that was necessary. The remainder, and even that bite was disposed of by a maid. My crab-madness is gone, thank poxied gods! But after the meal, I have taken a new obsession.]

[Ah. Should I pretend gladness, my liege?]

[I will understand if you do not.]

The ferry drew close. The crowds on the boat and the dock drew toward each other. The two scouts Varalam and Tlezjoy kept close. The Earl fidgeted.

Fazgood thought, [Quickly! We must create a performance to ease me away from these deputies.]

The ferry touched the rope bumpers around the dock. The rail was raised, and all on the boat made way as the paragon’s party stepped forward.

[Ah!] the Earl considered, [Calzjha must chastise me. Quickly! Tell her she is angry for my wandering away to gamble. She is to hustle me onto the ferry, and the –]

Respiration stepped forward and said to the deputies. “We shall accept him. You have my thanks.”

Fazgood blinked in surprise at her improvisation, then gave an abashed look and mumbled. “I thank you, Paragon.”

“You must be ashamed, aspirant!”

The command broke the air like a slap. Among those witnessing, some three dozen people on dock and boat, all of their breath stopped.

The Earl suppressed a glare, then cast his gaze down contritely. He whimpered. “Yes, paragon. I am! Indeed!”

“Indulgences are earned through honor and effort. That includes whoring.”

Fazgood snorted in umbrage at the chosen offense, but held his objection.

The deputies sneered.

Respiration swept a graceful hand. “Let us step away to allow the others to pass.”

She stood aside to allow the ferry throng to exit.

Fazgood nudged a deputy with his toolbag and cried. “What do you wait for? Step away! Step away!”

The scouts pressed themselves aside as the bauds and merchants left the ferry. Those accustomed to the Goodwife’s presence cast bemused looks at those freshly surprised. All grimaced at the presumptuous aspirant. Fazgood kept his face down in shame.

The Goodwife Greatsergeant looked to the deputies. “I thank you for your assistance. Your task is ended.”

Tlezjoy replied, “Our Inspector said that we are to keep him under our watchful eye.”

His right foot stepped onto the ferry.

“You may tell your Inspector that your task is ended.”

The foot, however, did not withdraw.

Said Tlezjoy, “Pehzpersist understands that he is to accompany us.”

Among the ferry, and among those lingering at the dock, all breath stopped again.

Respiration offered a hand to her left. “Then this good soldier…”

Obdurate stepped up. His uniform glowed in the lanternlight, the image of polite and efficient society. He looked upon the deputies with disdain.

The goodwife continued. “…will help insure that all have a greater understanding.”

Obdurate snatched the tziembroask bottle from Fazgood’s grasp. “This one will be no problem at all, paragon.”

[This is getting to be quite enough!] thought the Earl.

[Steady, my liege.]

Varalam pressed. “Paragon, is there a service we could provide? Our service could be to accompany you home as a show of our faith and support.”

“Your faith and support are taken close to my bosom and do warm my soul, good scout. Tell your inspector that his respect is a firm, dry stone upon which all can surely stand. I thank you. Your task is ended.”

Visibly moved by the praise, the Adactoid bowed. Tlezjoy pouted at losing an opportunity to torment Pehzpersist. He stepped back onto the dock and bowed.

A final ease of her hand and the ferrymen closed the rail and blew the note for the riverwhales to swim for the bank. The ferry moved away.

[She did play that well, Earl,] noted Warren.

[Respiration has strong nerve,] Fazgood agreed. [She flattered that Adactoid just so.]

The ferry ride back seemed very long. At the dock, two rickshaws were procured. Tense and exhausted, none exchanged a word or thought until the Greatsergeant Keep. The youngest cousin maid opened the door, eyes severe and mouth pinched with consternation.

In front of the maid, the Goodwife wheeled upon the Earl. “As your patron, I command you go to your room and rest for studies tomorrow.”

The Earl withdrew, with a last sidelong glance at the bottle Obdurate still held. He passed Calzjha. He thrust the toolbag into

Calzjha’s hands. Within its pitch-canvas, water sloshed.

Calzjha flushed and took the bag in her free hand.

To Obdurate, Respiration said, “Again, I am under some obligation to you, adjutant.”

She presented her hands. He held them in a polite acknowledgement.

“It is my duty, and my honor to help you, paragon.”

Calzjha and Warren watched, knowing the sublimity of that couple’s feelings. As Fazgood took the stairs, he made mocking faces of the subtle lovers.

The soldier departed. The Foofaloof declared a need for a contemplative walk by the river, where all understood it was to dispose of the unfortunate burden in the toolbag. The Brumpf accompanied the Foofaloof as a means of communicating in case of emergency. Obdurate noted the need for safety, and so swallowed his nausea at the task at hand, and also accompanied Calzjha on her task.

Respiration ascended to the contemplations room, where under the maid’s presence, they sipped tea, and stole glances at the waterclock. The Foofaloof returned at half-past the twentieth hour, set the Brumpf to return to their room, and declared the walk satisfactory, though Obdurate did gurgle a bit.

At the twenty-first hour, the women retired for the night. Calzjha withdrew down the hall to the room she shared with the Earl.
Calzjha found him sitting upon the bed; metal clacked in his jiggling left hand. He raised his right hand and dropped it toward a roll of fine blue wool cloth in the corner of the room. The center of the roll twitched. The end of a knitting needle joined others buried deep. In an open cask across from the door came a rasping snore; Warren was taking the opportunity to nap.

The Earl glanced at the bag in Calzjha’s hands and said nothing. He flung another needle deep into the cloth.

“Warren told me all,” Calzjha said. “You did not have to go get that crab.”

“Indeed? I did. It was part of my plan.”

They spoke in the pidgin that was familiar to them both, mixing Rahsic and Adanikarese.

She said, “You could have waited a day. You placed yourself at risk.”

The Earl rose to the bolt of cloth, and slipped eight needles from within the center of the roll.

“You act as if you are a bodyguard,” he said. “I thought I was traveling with a pilgrim.”

“You endured your cravings for months as we traveled here. One more day would have been nothing.”

Fazgood sat back down. “Why should I have waited?”

“You rushed and were captured. You always counsel patience.”

“My plan required swiftness. The Inspector had been seeking me. One day later, and that Inspector would have had me dead.”

Rattle, fling with his left hand this time, thump.

“Not with me beside you.”

“Ah! You would have been with me. If only I could share that certainty.”

“You always counsel patience! Why did you rush?”

“I have patience with my plans, not yours.”

“There is more to the world than just your fleeing it.”

“I have seen much of the world. It often requires fleeing.”

Rattle, flick, thump.

Calzjha sat on the edge of the bed. “I had to become a woman. This is an indescribable opportunity. This household has such influence. I have to help heal it, and Obdurate and Respiration are more receptive to me as a woman.”

Rattle, flick, thump.

“I know you don’t like me as a woman. But you are not attracted me when I am a man. You notice other women. Am I repellant?”

The rattling stopped.

Said the Earl, who shook his head. “You meant that question as a joke, am I correct? It takes me effort to get a door unlocked. When you tuck your chin and take a deep breath, entire castles open.”

Flick, thump.

“Are you jealous? Is that why you are angry when I am a woman?”

The Earl gave an aggrieved sigh. “What did you do with your testes?”

Calzjha sagged and accepted the change in conversation. “I buried them by a large tree just within Cliffside-Bastlements. Obdurate disposed of the toolbag. I note there are few animals in the city which may dig up my testes.”

“No animals who dig may live in the cities. That is part of the Concord. If Warren was even on set his feet on earth, there would be much scrutiny.”

Within his thick velvet, Warren raised his head and yawned.

“It is good that you have awakened, for –“

Warren fell forwards into the cloth, and back down into sleep.

The Earl sighed, [Chief Litigator.]

The weasel sprang up, eyes glassy, [Yes, my liege!]

“Before we meet with the others this evening, I must tell you of a change in plan.”

[You…you have changed plans? ]

“I am taking the curative of planning a betrayal and murder. No, not either of you.”

“A murder!” Calzjha said. “But you are no assassin!”

[You say that ‘death only brings more death, and brings mercy to those who deserve worse.’]

The Earl set the needles on the bed. “Warren, Calzjha, he lives. He flourishes. I will throttle him.”

Both were baffled.

“The youth who betrayed and murdered my mentors and set me upon my path. It is that very Inspector.”

Warren sagged into the cloth. [Fluxion.]

Calzjha hissed in astonishment.

“I knew the two of you would appreciate the circumstance. But the adjutant and the lady of this keep must not know. They would slip and find themselves on the Royal Road for keeping my secret. And Hrikinik sends his regards.”

[Of course he is behind this!]

“Hrikinik!” Calzjha spat. “You spoke with him!”

“Yes, and he sends his regards.”

“He did so merely to aid his masturbation. How did you speak with Hrikinik?”

The Earl related his discovery of Mehzadapt’s success, the cunning distillation of Fazgood’s murderous desire, and its placement in the relish. Warren was greatly relieved that tasting the moosecrab’s flavor was all that was needed to bring the plot to completion.

Fazgood laughed. “That is the best part: Mehzadapt believes my memory of him is gone.”

Calzjha’s face went dark with rage. “You wretch!”

Fazgood grimaced with exasperation. “Again, I fail to impress.”

“You dragged Warren and I across an ocean to risk our skins on a lie!”

“Steady your nerve, young lady.”

Warren affixed the Earl. [My liege, isn’t revenge a game for fools?]

“What are you about?”

[You had said “Revenge is a chump’s game for chumps who deserve lives of chumpery.”]

“I must have been drinking.”

[Wine, my liege. Wine always makes you philosophical.]

“Indeed. Take note of this legal precedent, squire: from this day forward, it is the law of the Earldom that I will take revenge to much applause.”

If thoughts could groan: [My Earl, I thought you had matured beyond despotism.]

“These are base times, squire. But…a moment!”

The Earl stood and made to be confused. “You…you find this motive of revenge more offensive than being dragged here so I may eat moosecrab?”

[We accompanied you so that you would stay safe. We thought you were going senile.]

“Which would you prefer, Chief Litigator, my foolishness or my health?”

[Of the two, it would be your health. But I would more prefer –]

“Only those two options!”

The Earl rounded upon Calzjha. “Warren prefers my health. What say you?”

“Yes, I prefer you healthy. In life there exists possibility. Such as: your reconsidering the murder.”

“Splendid! We are agreed that I am far better restored.”

“We knew nothing of murder.”

“You are not doing it.”

“You are no assassin.”

Midnight’s arrival was appreciated by all of the conspirators. Through stealth and familiar routes, all of the parties assembled under dark in the master bedroom. A white lanternette had been retrieved from the hidden room, was lit and placed upon the floor. The

Earl brought a length of blue cloth, which he placed at the bottom of the door to keep light from showing under it. Wrapped within it was the second bottle of caml-zre. Through the secret door crept Obdurate, who brought with him the tziembroask jug and the remainder of the first bottle of caml-zre, and for this was roundly commended by a certain other party. Warren was posted at the door hinge, and beside a gap in the placed blanket, to listen for the maids. Respiration opened and unfolded an ablewood vanity, and set five porcelain tumblers upon its counter. The Earl’s surprise caught her notice.

She explained. “Obdurate bought these this afternoon.”

Obdurate’s expression was restless and nauseated. “Yes! About that! Fazgood, you must leave Harmonium. Every lotcaster in the city is searching for you, and they already know so much. Please escape.”

“Eh?”

Obdurate described his infiltration of the Terhane Residences, and his eavesdropping upon the lotcasters.

A curt nod from Fazgood. “Sharp work. You told me something that will preserve us all; tomorrow we avoid these lotcasters running around.”

Surprise lit the adjutant’s face.

“But,” added the Earl, and rubbed his aching knee. “in all things there is a time to flee. We have not reached that time. You are still bound to that fiend General. I am bound to the Inspector. There is a way out for both you and I.”

He continued. “You suggest that I am here through selfishness. I disagree.”

His expression tightened at the memory. “The scouts had cornered me over my dinner at a conference house. Before me was a porcelain plate, a bottle, even the sharp edge of the crab shell at hand. I could have used any to aid an escape.”

A glance at Calzjha. “I could even have killed one of them.”

Calzjha and Warren both noted the remark and stiffened.

The Earl continued. “I might have escaped the room, perhaps have escaped the Due and even Harmonium.”

Calzjha muttered. “That would have left me captured and interrogated.”

Realization seeped into Respiration, and her lover also cast his eyes down.

She opened the bottle of tziembroask. “No amount of resolve from Calzjha would withstand that scrutiny. We would be found out.”

“Indeed,” said the soldier. “All would have been lost.”

She poured cups of tziembroask. She offered them. “I have tried this before, many years ago.”

Calzjha snorted. “It is not to my taste. I will enjoy a little caml-zre.”

“Would…your litigator care for one?”

“Warren?”

[I thank you, Goodwife. I would appreciate some caml-zre with water.]

Obdurate gave a hopeful look and accepted his tziembroask. “Tziembroask is so bitter, but in ‘The Nimblest Man’, it is written you make concoctions with this liquor. I had thought that must brighten its taste, for you drank so many of them.”

The Earl took his cup with a sharp laugh, then realized Obdurate was serious. Still smiling, Fazgood looked to Calzjha. “Are any of your perfumes worth mixing for flavor?”

“You will not.”

Respiration waved a hand to distract the argument. “Fazgood, what did you tell the Inspector?”

“I had to tell Scout Inspector Mehzadapt that the testicles in my toolbag were not mine. He took that for granted.”

“He saw my testicles?” Calzjha was affronted.

The Earl said, “I had to prioritize. He knew from sight that they were fresh. I was tempted to say I had collected a debt, but he would have asked confirmation from the garnishee. So I told him of you, Calzjha, and of your race. I told him that you were not from the Ijkallas. You should have seen his smugness! A smug ape even as a child!”

“How did he react?” asked Obdurate.

Fazgood scratched his shin. “He had discovered a ruse that had fooled a Mezzo-Barritone of the highest judiciary. Even that knowledge did not satisfy him.

“I let him threaten and bluster and so bought myself time for a very good lie: I told him that Calzjha and I had served as guides for the general in the Ijkallas. We had been partners with the general in some diplomatic irregularities, like extorting cooperation from the Ijkallan leaders, and using Ijkallan enchantments to cover out activity. Then Calzjha and I found some more of the general’s irregularities in the quartermaster accounting. With that knowledge, we decided to play our ruse in Harmonium to leverage both the general’s shamed wife and his accomplice, the adjutant.”

The soldier groaned. “A Scout Inspector believes I am an embezzler?”

Calzjha gasped and marveled. “You invented that at that moment! Surrounded! Did he believe it?”

“The opportunity to gain advantage on a General and a paragon is so heady, he dare not believe it.”

Respiration sipped her tziembroask. She did not make a face, but did look down into the cup, perturbed at the flavor.

“Something puzzles me,” she said.

“Perhaps it could wait,” said the Earl. “Obdurate, what if the tziembroask were mixed with the caml-zre?”

Obdurate was still stunned.

The Earl reached for the caml-zre and peeled the wax seal.

“How is it that the Inspector took interest in you?” asked Calzjha. “Does he know you?”

Fazgood considered, then nodded. “I had a portion of my soul distilled, to obscure my memory of my home, and thus my identity.You’ll never imagine where my identity was secured!”

The adjutant looked up with an expression of unease. “In your relish.”

Fazgood deflated.

The soldier told of his numerical discernments, and his conclusion that the Earl had distilled himself. Both Calzjha and Respiration gave the young man flattering admiration.

Despite his jealousy at the attention, the Earl nodded. “That is a remarkable method.”

A thought took Respiration. “Something else does not seem right.”

“Would you like some caml-zre in your tziembroask, Respiration?” asked Fazgood.

“Why would the Inspector see you off into public? What assurance did he have that you were not telling a profound lie about everything, and that you were ready to ‘disappear into the night?’”

“My superior convincing.”

“What other than that?”

The Earl nodded with appreciation. “Ah. You have me.”

He set his cup upon the floor along the outside wall and asked, “Have you seen an obligationist’s work?”

All were dismayed. Obdurate and Respiration shook their heads. Calzjha clenched her fists to her temples. At the door, Warren wailed.

[My liege! No!]

The Earl said, “one’s word and nature, become bound to the obligationist. If the one so obligated were to disobey the obligationist, that one’s word loses value. As does my material. You may see.”

The Earl stepped to the lanternette and pulled up the cuffs of his pants. Three small, raw ulcers had bloomed upon each white shin.

Fine gray dust cascaded upon his shoes.

He raised his eyebrows. “Already, I become undone. Because I disobeyed and left the company of his deputies.”

Shocked, they drew close, even Warren, and examined his legs. Respiration put her hand on the Earl’s arm.

Respiration rose and stood beside him. She whispered, “What do you mean?”

“Remember at the ferry, that the deputy spoke of my ‘understanding?’”

“I…I thought he was merely imposing upon you.”

“No, I had been ordered by the Inspector to stay with those deputies. That big Adactoid was waiting for me to insist ‘I must go with the deputies, goodwife. It will be quite alright.’ I found those two boring and possibly brutal. I prefer this.”

Obdurate touched the ulcers. “But you must renegotiate his command! You will crumble into dust within a week!”

Warren added: [The only ways out of an obligation is to fulfill it, for you to be imprisoned, or for you to die!]

Fazgood let down his pantlegs and retrieved his cup.

The Earl sipped and swirled his cup casually. “True. Tomorrow, I will be only a little gray and spotty. I will seek out that ape Inspector and renegotiate my behavior. This will heal.”

Calzjha said, “But if you plan to kill him –“

“I could think whatever I wished without consequence. It is the action that causes the undoing.”

“What have you done?” Calzjha’s eyes were wet.

“Will you keep quiet!” hissed the Earl. “What did I do? I ensured the Inspector’s trust. All he needed was to confirm that there was something to my story. I assure you he would have killed me to frighten all of you, then had all of you likewise obligated.”

The Earl pointed at the hidden door. “With that little charm, Mehzadapt could obligate the Royal Family.”

In that close, humid room, all chilled.

“He had doubts when I left him,” said the Earl. “Doubtless he is belaboring his lotcaster to confirm the conspiracy I created.”

[So he is chasing his own shadow.]

“He is a crime boss. He lives by lies and threats. You should meet the fellows he has made his deputies. I remember that Scout

Deputies are supposed to be chosen as stalwarts and examples. Mehzadapt’s deputies are worse citizens than my subjects back at the earldom.”

[Did the deputies try to kill you?]

“All they needed was the command, squire.”

[Then they are not worse than your subjects: your subjects tried killing you many times on their own.]

“Yes, true.”

Said Respiration, “At the dock, that skinny Therihe had a smile like a wild dog. And that Adactoid looked like doom.”

“There was at the consultory this one fat, crafty fellow who stank like eggs, and went terrified around alcohol. He got me to wondering …”

Warren turned from the door. [A rotten egg smell? A terror of alcohol?]

“They sound like pitiful associates,” remarked Calzjha.

“They are a bunch on their last chance, and Mehzadapt makes them his deputies. He had to fight them a little too. Give me a splash of that caml-zre.”

“Poor discipline,” remarked Obdurate as he poured.

“Of all, a soldier would note that.”

Warren quickly turned back to his duty at the door.

The adjutant said, “Poor commanders promote beings they can control. Good commanders promote those who inspire the best.”

The Earl swirled the liquors in the cup and sighed, remembering his own personnel problems over his many careers. “Indeed. But now comes your moment to inspire, adjutant.”

“Truly? What would I do?”

“I will tell you, but you must have faith in me.”

He sipped and puzzled over the taste. “I had faith in you until I drank this.”

“Ignore the drink. The only way out of this is for you to sympatile the General in confidence. Make the message as secret as possible, but he must receive it quickly, hence the sympatile. You are to tell him that you suspect his wife has made him a cuckold.”

“What?” said the young man.

“Mind your cup.”

Respiration whispered, “You are joking.”

The Earl took the tziembroask and added another splash.

He sipped, and his face hardened with anger. “This has boiled my blood for the last two days, and I have kept my mouth shut. Now listen: You have brought me in to resolve this problem. You have read that god-poxied book –” he slipped into Adanikarese at that word “ – and know all I have done. There is a path out of this situation. At the end of that path, you will have each other, and the kingdom will be safe. I cannot tell you the path because the fewer who know, the easier to keep secret. The circumstance is going to get ugly. If you heed me, you will survive. If you do not heed me, all of us are doomed.”

Respiration nodded. Obdurate took a breath, then held her hand.

Fazgood insisted. “If I lack your cooperation, I might as well go to the Citadel and tell them everything, for that is what will happen anyway. Do you understand?”

“Do you have a plan?” asked Calzjha.

“Yes. This is the first step…”

The Earl told the adjutant. “You will sympatile the General. You will tell him that you suspect she is taken with the new guest from Ijkalla. Say that you overheard the guest boasting to her of being a magician. That he knows of a curse and knows how it can be destroyed and the Kingdom saved. You are puzzled by what he meant by that. Understand me?”

“Yes,” he said with resignation. “I must play a fool.”

The Earl said with annoyance. “Which as Calzjha will tell you, is the most challenging role.”

“Just dither. You dither well,” Calzjha smiled.

“It will not come to lying face-to-face, not yet. If the General believes you know any details of that curse, we are all doomed. And if he corners you and he gets something out of you, say you know nothing else and ask questions. If you have to, admit to a small lie to hide the truth. He will have some barking left, but your questions will bind him up.”

“But my husband is suspicious of everyone.”

Said the Earl, “Give him only the information he asks for.”

“This is like in the book,” the soldier took a breath. “When you were instructing the new spies for the Three Cities.”

The Earl pondered at the mention of the book, then: “Also, you can do some open duty for your country, and send the lotcaster college this message: the Scout Brigade lotcaster was in the Foreign Due. The lotcaster was a Booloob named Reedtickle. I doubt he had valid permission.”

“I’m certain he did not.”

“That will bind up our Inspector. When you are finished, tomorrow tell me everything. Remember all details.”

“I can do it.”
“Then, our regards to the Kingdom,” Fazgood sipped. “And to dead friends.”

All held their cups in both hands and nodded. The mood grown reflective, they drank in silence for another round. Warren lapped at his serving only twice, methodically, five licks each.

Her second tziembroask finished, the lovers looked to each other. With the speed of youth and ardor, without anyone’s notice,

Obdurate had already taken off his coat.

Noted the Earl. “I take my leave.”

All bade him farewell.

He added, “Tonight should be pleasant. Blood heats when pressed by a sword.”

Calzjha gave a smile, and waved farewell again.

The tziembroask had warmed Respiration so that sweat sheened her dark neck and brow.

[Are we safe to exit, squire?]

[Yes, my liege.]

They opened the door just wide enough to allow their passage.

[This has been an exhausting day, squire.]

[Will you sleep, my liege.]

The Earl scratched. [By the time I fell asleep, they would be finished.]

[That is doubtful, my liege. Last night, they went well past the third hour!]

[Past the third hour? Such is youth.]

[Actually, it was Respiration. Obdurate was enthused, but the lady was –]

[Warren, I do not need to know this.]

[Ah! Yes! My apologies! That was –]

[You are tipsy, squire. I will keep the confidence.]

At the top of the stair, Warren looked back at him. [My liege, are you well?]

[I am well. I am not so tired as I thought. Why don’t you sleep? I’ll sit here with my tziembroask.]

[If that is allowed, perhaps I will just stretch out.]

The Earl graciously set his blazer upon the floor. Warren lay upon his side and drowsed.
Fazgood sat at the top of the stair, forearms atop his knees, cup beside him to his left. He looked down the dark hall, looked up at the bricks on the ceiling, and began improvising upon his plan.








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