Research! Death In A Microwave!

31 08 2016

 

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Image Courtesy Gizmodo

From Gizmodo:

“Well, I can tell you from experience being microwaved is pretty… intense. Imagine the sensation of being slapped on a bad sunburn, combined with an electric shock, instantly. On the plus side, it also stops instantly once you’ve frantically jerked your hand out of the microwave, so it isn’t all bad I guess? :)”

Yet for adults, staying in a fetal position with eyes tightly clenched may — MAY — keep the liquid parts of us from overheating. Babies in standard home microwaves would probably survive, though with skin burns and severe damage to eyes and genitals. Industrial microwaves would cause internal organ damage, but overall it seems burn wards see people with far worse injuries.

I deem this death: OOGY, NOT HORRIFIC

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Fighter Pilot, Lawyer, Rotary Club, A.I.

13 07 2016

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Local businessman plays a flight simulation with attorney “Buck” Skynet (right)

After a career in the Air Force defeating human adversaries, local attorney “Buck” Skynet passed the New York bar and started his practice in Long Island. He will take the gavel as President of the Great Neck Rotary Club this September.

 

 

 





George Clooney Must Play MODOK!

17 06 2016

https://d18kwxxua7ik1y.cloudfront.net/product/embeds/v1/change-embeds.js

“>George Clooney Must Play MODOK!

Sign the petition!

 





My Prayer For Spec-Fic

9 06 2016

Oh Lord, are You there? My soul thirsts for You. Could You give me a Double-Gulp helping of You?

I yearn for a sf movie without “Star” in the title. I yearn for something that JJ Abrams hasn’t tainted with his signature TV cinematography and Slusho world-building. I yearn for Damon Lindoff to live a productive and happy life without the ability to write.
Some movie worthy of a franchise that isn’t already populated with 70 year olds from other franchises. A movie without The Wilhelm Scream. A movie that wasn’t produced simultaneously with three of its sequels. A movie smart enough to have its own language and culture, yet still smart enough to not hide its MacGuffin behind the name “Unobtanium” and keep its villains out of military uniforms and business suits, just once.
Something that doesn’t happen in a high school either midwestern or Asian.

I so thirts for a horror movie without a death in a car where an arm punches through the driver’s chest. Without someone crawling on the ceiling. Without a garish, flat spiritworld where everyone just smiles creepy or sings songs in public domain. Without the Christian being a hypocrite or worse. Without an explanation of why the monster came to be. Without being a disappointing remake.

Without lush childrens’ storybook styling to remind us this is a Metaphor.

People know when a movie is going to suck. They go anyway to be part of the event and be able to discuss the merits of the movie. Even M. Night Shamalan has had little effect.

Could we have a spec-fic show that’s brightly lit? In a nice, clean world? An original world without characters from story books?

Can we have real teenagers who act and speak like real teenagers? Who have sharp-eyed, meddling, loving adults involved in their lives? Can we have actual old people?

We spend our lives making money. We give this money to movies and books and TV. The art is consumimg our lives, yet is made of parts long dead. Now not only is it a zombie (slow moving), it’s  and being further shaved of its face and features so it can shamble into China and digest the Chinese.

I can’t be the only one who feels this way, Lord of Hosts, Host of All Media.

And get people to turn off their tablets in theaters, too.

Amen.





Strange Tales: Horror Inspiration

5 06 2016

Serendipity comes through two posts titled “Strange Tales”

Here’s a self-publishing fella who got some name writers to suggest favorite short stories.

I agree with the classic choices, love the Barker, have reservations about Ramsey Campbell. He’s a great observer of society and power dynamics, but a lot of his dread comes from “poor people are scary”.

And 10 Strange Tales of Russian Paranormal Phenomena:

Number Nine is a well-known atmospheric trick. Number Eight is a “globster” or decayed whale. Number Seven: pretty cool. Six is a well-known fraudster. Who wouldn’t want more Number Fours in the world? Number Two would make an interesting story. Number One is on the scope of the Angel of Mons, but really really Russian.

 





Ever Have A Dream That Stayed? What’s In You Is Far More Compelling

28 01 2016

Occult and Outsider Imagery – have a look.

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Ever have a dream that made you wake up in a cold sweat? I did once when I was seven. The dream was a melange of Hanna-Barbara cartoons, featuring a waist-up shot of a middle-aged hillbilly woman who had begun to fade to leave the generic wooden shack background. She laughed a deep, cartoony laugh and was joined by other stereotypical rustics laughing unseen. The graphic came up: “Ghoul Gals”. I sat up in bed for the only time in my life, my skin chilled and wet.

A spot of potato? More of the gravy than the grave? Even if dyspepsia inspired the discomfort that made the dream, why that dream? More to the point, what in that dream could be conveyed to others?

You are a consciousness in a body within a society extended by technology. So is everyone else. The fonts and images in your mind will connect with others. Expertise polishes your message until it shines through preconceptions and shows your true, intended meaning. Sometimes, that means seeing your own preconceptions.

Why villains? Why vampires or werewolves? Aliens? Ghosts? Why not rustic Ghoul Gals living in a cartoon?

Okay, to make money, sure. I’ll write those things if I have a neat idea that’ll sell. Or for you, maybe those ideas have a more resounding effect than for most people. What is it that resounds? What does it feel like? What behavior went uncanny?

Have you had a dream that stayed with you?

 





Regarding the World Fantasy Award Trophy

21 01 2016

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I’ve just worked up the nerve to express something that’s been boiling.

I believed the trophy needed to be changed decades ago. Why?

Four reasons.
1. My reaction on seeing it as a teenager: “This is the goddamn ugliest award.” It is as hideous a piece of ’70’s kitsch that ever graced a flea market discount bin. How stoned was the awards committee when they approved it? Don’t care that Gahan Wilson was the designer. It looks like strangulation sprayed with chrome paint.
2. No one person should be identified with an abstract. “J.C. Campbell Award for Best New Writer of Fantasy”? Sure, that’s specific. No problem. The World Fantasy Award is supposed to reflect All Of Fantasy in the Entire World. What face could possibly mean that to even a majority of people? Tolkien? Even if we put J.R.R. Tolkien’s head on the award, it makes the award too European for the “Entire World” award. The Stoker Award is a spooky tomb-house. The Nebula is a beautiful lucite nebula. The Hugo is a plastic bullet-shaped rocket. Make WFA award a big dragon or sword.
3. Lovecraft had only a marginal effect on fantasy, because he was a horror writer.
4. Look at it. It is the ugliest damn thing I’ve ever seen, much less wanted to win.

Some want to replace Lovecraft with Octavia Butler’s head. Do not do this! How badly will that sculpture be botched? What conversation will will be huffing over fifty years from now due to either Butler’s shortcomings or the change in values?





Inventing Your Own Hell

7 01 2016

Dante saw Hell as punishment for misdirected passion. Those who loved a behavior more than they loved God got an ironic end.

Dante knew if you are need some unique take on damnation, the obvious isn’t most interesting Hell.

I’ve had Inferno on my reading list for a long time, but I have a hard time getting into it. Dante didn’t mean it as a literal map of damnation, I know. Yet through the circles freezing, fiery, and fecal, teeming with billions of wicked souls, to find Satan gnawing at Brutus as one of the Three Most Evil Men Ever is quite a letdown.

The language is beautiful, though.

Considering this question about creating a Hell for some fiction, I learned a bit about where our passion has gone in the last century.

Our ideas of Hell have been tsunamis of desire. Hell is what happens when you get everything you want beyond any concept of health.

Clive Barker designed a Hell for Materialists. Dominated by an infinite maze, ruled by inscrutable sentient pyramid Lord Leviathan, his Hell is populated by the Cenobites who exist only to either create the art of pain, or wage eternal war on flesh (depending on the story). In “The Hellbound Heart” and in the several dozen “Hellraiser” movies, there is no Heaven, only safety by avoiding the louche and grotesque. There is no Eucharist, only milquetoast (SWIDT? “Bartlett’s” here I come!).

Very similar is Lovecraft’s original vision of the universe, where salvation means remaining comfortable in your New England cottage ignoring your desire for knowledge. Hell for Lovecraft meant being dragged helpless into fathomless depths, whether it’s as a brain canister to the planet Yuggoth, an unknown fate in the undersea of the Deep Ones, or a slave in the underground land of dream. He created a Hell for Skeptics, in that not only is all human science wrong, humans don’t even have the brainpower to understand.
(I ignore any addition to the Cthulhu Mythos beyond Lovecraft. Robert Howard wanted to create epics and C.A. Smith wanted passion plays.)

The 1970s presented Hell as gauche. A dinner party with your extended family gone stale but with Latin Rites on the stereo. It’s eternity with the Castavets of “Rosemary’s Baby”, or in stuck in the jerkwater burg of Malas in “The Devil’s Rain”, or locked in the brownstone of “The Sentinel.” The only crimes ever mentioned as damning a character were murder, suicide, and flat-out Satan Worship. The good believer was sucked into the abyss by being possessed or sacrificed after dabbling with Ouija boards or having the wrong bloodline. This was Hell if you Took Your Thing Too Far, Man.

This is where our culture has left us. Hell is now for jerks who can’t get along. Want your family to stop growing apart? Go to “Krampus” Hell where its Christmas morning for eternity. Can’t stomach self-sacrifice? Stay in Revelation era L.A. like “This Is The End”.

But what about the Hell your story needs?

What could Hell for Positivists be like? Frenzied, eternal stimulation and exhaustion? Unsurpassed bliss, but alone, always alone? Would there be Circles, like the First being for those who post mindless platitudes on Facebook, and the punishment being listening to that friend whose nice but really down for all eternity?

For Pessimists, Hell would be uncertainty in cause and effect. Being in the wrong place or time and seeing opportunities flit just out of reach. Lost in a roiling sea of millions of other souls, none of whom believe what you’ve seen. Hmm, Hell for Pessimists is Life.

Hell for Stoics could be like Samuel Beckett’s “Play” (Have a look. It’s brief and stars Alan Rickman). All ruminate privately over their gravest sins over and over, without expression, until emotions are ground to dust. It’s a Hell that every stage actor has faced, and is also quite British in its way.

In the comic series “Swamp Thing”, the evil magician Arcane is sent to Hell, where he is told Hell wouldn’t exist if people didn’t believe in it. For writer Alan Moore, Hell must be like this.
(Watch all the way through. More poignant than funny.)

One human’s Heaven is another’s Hell. Example: The Mormons allegedly believe that once a worshiper dies, that worshiper gets a planet to rule as a god. Meanwhile, countless souls would have to live on a planet designed by Donny Osmond.

How many sandwiches are being made by damned Feminists for blessed MRAs?

Anyway. Hell has to be that ironic sting.

Hell for Ferenghi may include toil and the gloating of those with better lobes, but watching their descendants lose. For Time Lords, Hell may be like a conscious one-dimensional fixed point in time and space, watching everything pass by.

I wrote up a race of intelligent gas bubbles. That race lived chemical reactions in a DNA laden gas within a membrane. Once popped, a bubble’s gas needed to be absorbed by another bubble to “live on.” Their passion would be toward creating the safest, most stimulating life for themselves and their progeny-foam with NO-SHARP OBJECTS. Hell would be some primordial soup with a gooey, lethal surface tension, filled with lost souls.

Sometime, maybe I’ll discuss why a theology is the second step toward creating an alien race.

We deserve better Hell than some spiteful gnawing. Create a better one for your world.





16 10 2015

Looking at Doctor Who. He is sci-fi fey with a magic wand and timeless castle. He’s even tweedy and Brit and safely thrilling while still asexual.

Doctor Who could be quite a villain. Not in the Master or Mistress sort of way, but in a time-traveling Goblin King from “Labyrinth” way. Hypersmart, transformative, thrilling, human-enough intelligence but still inhuman in outlook. Goblins or fey related to octopi?

Eventually, everything goes through the octopi filter.

He’s forever alone. Why? Why not be like Q from “Star Trek”, traipsing from planet-to-planet reshaping civilizations? DW does do that, of course, but it’s catch-and-release usually. Help out then scram. What if the charming bastard stuck around and provided firewall technologies to worlds, which would stop Daleks and Cybermen without his help?

Maybe he has already. How would we, on Earth, know?

Lovecraft stories went here, to interplanetary conspiracies hidden behind the demimonde, regulating the churning primal powers.

All manipulators know it is best to keep the true story in the background. Let the natives think they have the power.

Nothing is new here.

Is today’s stretch of the binary sexual paradigm part of this primal power resurging?

Have you read “Toast” by Charles Stross? In it there is a short story positing that an AI would assimilate all matter in the universe in a quest toward self-awareness.

What’s more charming, primal, thrilling, yet-asexual than an universe-sized AI?

Here are some links relating:

http://www.neatorama.com/2015/09/29/The-Creepiest-Films-About-Cults-in-All-of-History

http://www.indiewire.com/article/15-brutal-filmgoing-experiences-20150617?page=1

http://bloody-disgusting.com/editorials/3362330/10-sexy-horror-movie-villainesses/

http://www.amazon.com/Toast-Charles-Stross/dp/0809556030/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1445011611&sr=1-1&keywords=toast+stross





Ten Scary Story Ideas, Where To Set Them & Joss Explains How To Write Them!

30 08 2015

The Ten Scariest Theories Known To Man!

America’s Most Haunted Houses!

And Joss Whedon Explains How To Write Them Out!








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